Life decision

In my family, I am the first child or you can say Bigra Hua bacha jiski sare bate hamesha puri hue ho... The times I visited market either with parents or with my relatives the thing which I want, I want by anyhow. We are 2 Siblings out of us I am the only one who was most pampered for everything.

I care what I get from my family I always gave that to my younger ones, was never biased to anyone maybe that's the only reason they respected me, cared for me, or love to be with me or they are easy to say what's cooking in there mind.

I still remember the time I got admission to a Professional course in "the Institute of Company Secretary" I was so happy after seeing the email  I called my mom and I was so happy with the news but my brother was more excited than me.

Now they can use my room, my stuff which they love without any permission I hardly say no to them but I can better understand their feeling. Now I am left with few days to I have to leave my home town for my further studies. before going to the new city my Mom told me few things which were :

1. if you date someone we don't have any issue however before dating makes sure he is perfect and suitable for you.
2. no late-night parties
3. we need 90% in your exams and lots more.

That was the time I feel as if I was so small to have a boyfriend but she said so I had to listen without any argument.

I was so egoistic, hardly got into people, love to travel, explore new things. slowly I thought of dating someone pata nhi chla kab meri prayers meri chor kr kisi or k liye hone lag gye kab mai se hum hogye pata nhi chla.

Ek adat si hogye uski, jab tak use bat na Karo complete sa feel nhi hota tha or usse share Kark uska merko suggestion, Dena.

Mere Ghar meri shadi ki bat start hue before they look for someone I told them about my decision. Woh time tha merko koi mana nhi kar skta unko meri suni pdege. But parents are always parents I tried to make them understand for 2 long years but no they don't want to.

I am left with only options:

1. suicide
2. Ghar se bhag jau

Suicide Kiya toh unka kya Hoga kon ayega unke liye koi bhi nhi Hoga Mera Bhai usko log kya bolenge they have given almost all of their life to make me happy to fulfill all my demands.

As if I ran kya mere parents accept krenge jab woh aj ready nhi hai toh Kal Kase ready honge Mera Bhai jisko mene apne Bache ki tara bada Kiya hmesha uske sth Rhi kya woh merko di bol payega merko dekh payega.

Aj mai ase situation mai hun merko khud nhi pata mai kya Karu I wanted to be selfish but Jase bhi hai mere parents hai I have to make them convenience for my choice fir uske liye merko khud liye dur kyu na jana pade jab take woh log meri bt se convenience nhi honge na mai apne pyar ke pass jauge na unke pass...

Hope you guys agree with the choice of decision I made for me.