End of life is not the solution...

 Nowadays, due to coronavirus, everyone is at home. At the initial stage, people were enjoying being home with the family members. Earlier, everyone was busy with the schools, colleges, business and offices.

Due to this pandemic situation, everything was shut people were free and they thought it was just the matter of 8 days then things would be normal so everyone followed the rules provided by the government and started saving themselves from this virus. It was the time when we all had stopped ourselves from visiting our neighbours.

Woh neighbours jike Ghar hum Jaa Kar ghanto bate krte the, sath k liye chai tak pee lete the aj is situation be unko bhi dur Kar Diya Tha 

After 8 days, then again the government had announced the lockdown for 15 more days. The circulation of money has stopped all the routes are sealed now. The government has planned that all the rationing shops would be open till 10 in the morning. So, people started rushing towards the market to collect the ration to feed themselves and youngsters at home also started learning cooking.

Hum log ek dusre say connect hone k liye sath vale ghar mai bhi bat krne k liye phone p the jana nhi chate the kisi k ghar

On the social media, there was the trend of food coz now people are not visiting the tourist places but cooking at home from this Mom's at home are relaxed coz there are getting food without struggling into the kitchen.

People are not getting treatment for the disease or the wound doctors are not available, if available there are also worried if they will come on contact with the disease then who will take care of the family. People are dying because they are not getting the treatment. 

If you want to get admitted first you need to get tested negative and a report comes after 48 hours. if they don't have 48 hours of life then who will be responsible, 

Head of the family was not happy, he was struggling as the flow of money was stopped and they are using there saving to feed their family.

March was the only month were people decide to switch from one company to the different many were serving the notice periods in their company many of them joined the new. Now the bad part was the company started sending notices to the newly joined employees with the reason of no inventory and they were sorry to the employees.

Still, the company's are providing the facility to many selective to work from home they provided all the facilities to their employees with all the flexibilities but we are the sandwiches between the office work and mom's work jo Subha uthte hi start hojata hai nhi Kiya Toh tu humko pyar nhi Karta koi help nhi Karta bus Sara din aakhe Laga Kar betha rhta hai..UFF Kase smjhaye dono mai se koi nhi sunta.

Everyone is on a hard time, people are depressed as they are facing the loss which they never expect not even in their dreams they were fulfilling the dreams with the 10 hours daily effort to complete every demand of the family now they have to think before spending everyone is blank.

People stopped sleeping they are at the stage where they stopped laughing they wanted to live in the dark they stopped communicating they stopped socialising they started taking there lives they feel as they are burdened to the family they can't feed their family.

Guyz this is not the end of life, ups and downs are the part of life we have to deal with it if our spouse without saying anything supporting us financially please accept it, communicate with your family friends, everyone is struggling the same situation, end of life is not the only solutions think if you will end then who will take care of your family. 

Mixed Emotions

When a child is born who sbke liye bahut special hota hai coz who first hai sab bahut payar krte hai usko uska ek ek moment jase mamu ki shadi p tune yeh kiya that u yha se gira teri first demand tera first word and all Mom Dad sab yad rkhte hai kyuki who first hota hai. Usse uthna time dete hai taki who sab family members k sath mix up hojaye or usko adjust krna ane lge.

Phir ek time ata hai jab usko acha nhi lgta ki mere Mom Dad mera sara homework kra dete hai or merko apne friends k liye wait krna padta hai ya phir jab who dekhte hai ki unke classmates ka koi elder brother sister hai jo unki care krta hai half time mai uske sath tuffin share krne ata hai ya jab who bimar ho toh uski take care b krta hai.

Woh time hota hai jab usko realize hota hai mera b koi bhai ya bhen hona cheye jiske liye mai who sab karu jo mere sath toys share kare or hum mil kr shaymko cycling kare.. us time ase demand hoti hai ki jase bahr shop p jao or brother-sister le aao… the first stage when a immature mind speaks for some support.

 After a period of time when new member takes the birth and enter as a part of new member. The first one after seeing brother/sister yeah toh bahut chota hai yeah bda kab hoga, khelega kab itna sare questions uff.

Being parent and managing kids is too difficult anyways now it’s the time when new member ki koi ceremony hoti hai sab family members ghar ate hai gifts late hai but sab chotu baby ek  complex feeling aati hai in the elder one usko lgta hai ab koi usko payar nhi krta sb chotu baby ko uthate hai gifts bhi usko dete hai at this stage child start feeling ignored from everyone.

Jab ek age ho jati hai ek understanding ban jate hai ya fir we can say ki adjustment hojati hai tb siblings mai ldae hoti hai teri meri vali koi side nhi hota ek dusre se fir Mom Dad unko yad dilate hai bachpan mai ek icecream se dono khate the aj sath nhi beth skte fir parents hmesha chote ko immature samajh kr side krk elder one ko gussa krte hai.

Elder one itna zyada use to n already heart ho chukka hota ki usko yhi samajh ata hai parents Biased hai bus yhi thoughts ate hai every time I am the only one who is liable for each and every act in the house.

Yeah toh hai jb two opposite siblings ho if agar two sisters ho toh uska kya

Yeah vale siblings thore se different hote hai elder one over protected hoti hai rok tok bahut zyada hoti hai yeah mat kro ase mat betha kro ise bat mat kro pdae p dhyan do yeah apki friend achi nhi hai yeah vale kapde merko chote hogya hai yeah tu lele I will buy new ones kyu bhai mai choti hun merko hmesha purane kpde kyu..

Koi kisi k sath happy nhi hota na hi koi kisi k sath biased hr story ki apna charm hota hai or apna pyar asa mat samajho ki parents biased hai bus who us moment ko end krne k liye gussa hojate hai…

                             

A lost friend

 

Ek time ki bt hai jb kitabe hi mere achi dost hua krti thi, bina soche smjhe bate kiya krti thi, wohi kitabe apne feelings mujh tak ase baya krti thi jase sach mai mere sth asa kuch us time ho rha ho.. yeah bhi khud mai ek apni hi duniya hai jo kisi ko bhi apne dost bna leti hai..Kisi ko kya pta tha is bade bade chashme ke piche chupi aakho se kisi ko bhi pyar ho skta hai…

Ek jhali se ladki jo khuli kitab ki tara thi or khul kr hasne vali thi, usse bhi koi pyar kar skta hai? woh bhi office ki lift mai phli nazar mai? Woh ladka uske asa pass ghumta rha but khudse kbhi apni feelings share nhi kr paya..Office event mai mila unke number exchange hue..

Dheere dheere bt start hue but mere liye ase kisi se bhi bt kr lena was not easy..I tried my every last efford to get rid of him. But dheere dheere yeh anjana anajani dost ban gye asi dosti hogye ki woh ek dusre ko kuch bhi bol dete the ek dusre ko binna soche smjhe ghanto bate kiya krte, woh bachpan ki bate share krni who apni bunk vali mastiya, yar dosto ki choti choti nok jhok itna depend hogya, mene jitna bhi aj tak kitabo mai pda roz usse ase question kiya krti thi jase hi sach mai mujhe un sab p trust tha hmara roz ka yhi best part of the day hota tha, kabhi socha nhi tha kitabo ki duniya k alava bhi ko anajan sa apna sa bn jayega. Samaye p kiska zor tha ek bar ase ladi hue dono ka rishta ase mood p aya ki abhi  k abhi khtam hogya bus ab nhi dekh payege ek dusre ko suffocation hogya kyu asa ho skta tha kbhi socha nhi tha..

Agle hi din usne bht koshish ki sb thik ho kyuki dil hai k manta nhi na sab acha acha soch hi leta hai, fir mera accident hua who b ek choti se bachi k karna mai usko apna time nhi de paye n jab usko pta chla ki asa hua ki mere sath asa kch hua hai i don't know why? usko asa ku lga jase usne mujhe hmesha k liye kho hi diya tha toh mene bht koshish ki usko smjaya ki mai thik hun bus thora bht hua tha thik hojayega mujhe smjha aya ki he love me, he love me more than anything…

Mene bhat koshish ki who apni feelings express kre but kisi mahan purush ne bola hai ki girls never propose a guy. Usse night mene ek asi imagination chlaye or propose kr dala or usko yeha sab ek sapna sa lag rha tha kyuki yeah vhi ladki hai jise usko lift mai pyar hogya tha isliye woh apne aakh tak na band kr paya puri night ki khi who sapna tut na jaye…us din mene sache pyar ko feel kiya..

Nazdikiya bdte gye or bhi zyada bate bdti gye pura pura din ek duje se judai gwara nhi thi kuch der ki bhi fir dono ne plan kiya lets meet now..

Chupte chupate mile juth bol kr or dono ek dusre ka hath pakarna chate the but dar rhe the jase ki koi anajana smane ho or dimag mai who kya sochega mere bare mai ki mai desperate hun, dono kuch bhi nhi kr paye…

Fir bate kam hogya khud se hi itni kam hogya ki aj good morning k alava nothing left but vada kayam hai ki ek dusre k sath rhenge but roz naye subha k sth ek umeed hoti hai ki aj who kch bolega ya mai kch bolunge but ase krte krte roz ke tara aj ka din bhi asa hi rha ki nhi bol paye good morning se zyada kch bhi..

Kya itni hi dosti thi?

Broken...

I still remember the time when I was very small and usually girls are very habitual of playing kitchen set or teacher student or getting themselves ready with the jewelry and the accessories and more make up…that time I just kept myself away from all this girly games and always search for someone who can talk with me like anything, can listen as much as I wanted, love me the way I am.

I never expected something in return from them just wanted an understanding one in my life like my secrete friend. When I used to travel with my family on public transport even if I found the couples around, a beautiful smile always stick to my face and thought at the back of my mind one day I will also have someone in my life who is just mine and I will also Rome here and there with him.

Suddenly a boy came in my life who is not perfectly perfect but wants to enter, my heart was not ready to accept him but with someone pressure or might me the first male who had chosen me for him.

That someone was the wrong person I broke up in tiny pieces but no one came to console me I tried my best I felt that it was my first love how can my love be like this no I begged him like shit but he treat me as I am not the dust of his footwear.

The dreams for which I left everything seem as if the chapter must be the end of my life I decided to attempt the suicide but I failed again. That time I decided to follow him how could he do this to me. I followed him for a month and in that month I found that he had met almost 50 girls in their homes for approx 2 hrs. that means he had slept with them. Generally if the boy meet with a girl in private places that only shows that they are more than a friend in simple terms. That was not enough but the most shocking part was when one on my friend came at my place she was very close to me and I discussed the matter with her then she asked me that he bet his friends for 50,000 that he will play with your heart as you are the most charming girl of the society.

Wearing small clothes or having attractive face does mean you can play with the feeling of someone. Always remember in your life that KARMA IS A BITCH but the girl who wanted to have a perfect partner her dreams are somewhere packed in suitcase and trusting someone anyone in the most horrible dream to be the part of her life as some incidents only give the life time wound which cannot be cure even if the perfect one enters in the life. Now she only have learnt the adjustment lesson from the past. Happiness is just left like a joke.

Being A girl…

When a girl is born…

No one in the house is happy. No one celebrates that they have a daughter who will make them proud everywhere. Coz she is a girl.

When she first spoke the word papa no one is happy and now she is on no one cut her cake no one give her blessing to stay healthy except the mother because she has to as she is the part of her. Coz she is a girl.

When she scored first rank in the school now one came to appreciate her that she work harder to proud her parents. Coz she is a girl.

When his brother just score 60% and dad said u need to work more but abused a girl to stop studying and help your mother the sacrifice made by her with a big smile no one came again to say u have a right to study and achieve your dreams. Coz she is a girl.

When she is grown up now can understand that her parents are partial between boy and girl she had a question where is my home? From where I belong to. There was no one to answer but my grandma always say this that yeh ghar tera nhi hai tujhe toh apne patti k ghar jana hai ek din instead of this line there is no one to whom she can question. Coz she is a girl.

Everyone in the family says that this is not my house when I will be married my husband house will be mine. For my husband I need to learn each and every thing to bring smile on my in-laws face. Coz she is a girl.

After some time I got married I played all the role which I have learnt from my mother for my in-laws but they always say to me this is not your kyuki mai praye ghar se aye hoon. For these line I had left all my dreams. Why I am left alive if I am not respected by anyone.

So where is my home where in my family. To whom I can say yes this is mine.  To whom I can share my wants and my dislikes or thing which I want to pursue for. Coz I am a girl…

Cycle of life

We take birth we live the different faces of life and responsibility we get into the relationships either in friends or something else. We always have a hope to meet again and communicate with each other there is always a presence of hope in our heart.

I am in relation to someone I know we are always busy with our stuff but still any time we can call each other and communicate as much as want, we can meet with each other , spend time, fight and so on.. there is  hope

But have we ever thought of someone whose wife or husband is not alive..who don’t have their support with them don’t they have a feeling to express to someone. Being a women if my husband is alive than only my children will respect me, why children always forget that parents have given them their complete life to bring them in this world and may be they hadn’t slept many nights when we were ill. Why everything depends on the existence of both if my husband died, they will treat me as if I am a big burden to them. I don’t have any feeling left to express because people will only say me I am habitual of all crying or I am showing off the way I love my husband this is the only reason I am left with to live in the society. Have u ever thought in this sense that now I have no one to serve food to whom I can take care off? Have u ever thought how my nights are being alone in the house with no lights and if I switch on some light then my children will shout on me and say bill kaun bhrega?

I think it’s all our mistake that we make our children we loved them a lot that is the result of our love.

If I am burden to my child then why they have not buried me with their father because my existence faded in his funeral society too is making fun of my emotions. What I am left me now? Just waiting for end to come as soon as possible….

love...

Today after the dinner I step out from my house for walk with my mother, there were some street dogs in different group.

I was noticing them the way there showed their love to each other 2 dog have brought some uncles pajamas and snatching from each other with the proper effort.

There were two dogs which were making love with each other by rubbing their face in each other mouth. This proves that everyone has different ways to show their love to someone of their type. In the other group there was a mother dog with 4 puppies which were very cute but hungry too, one dog has chapatti under his legs and other one tried to share, he put his legs on his mouth and start eating he again tried then the fight between them started. After noticing all this I bought few packets of biscuits and feed them still the same dog was not sharing the biscuits with him.

I realized only that being a human we have received the gift of voice with which we can share out expression, our thoughts with each other. But for the animal It’s very difficult for them to chase a human being for food, who can't understand the language of dog. I noticed them so I provided them food even if I didn’t then….

We always prefer to have dog in our house we make them habitual, train them as per our convenience. Even if we forgot to provide them the meal at the time we used to. The dog will go the person who perform the activities for them or will sit near the kitchen, which means they are hungry.

Why we always prefer to work for the ones who only belong to us. Why not for the ones who don’t have anyone for them.

QUESTIONS

Being a girl is so difficult to manage all the things. When a girl is young parents starts teaching the manner and norms which they need to follow after being married they are always in a pressure to follow the rules and regulation they are not allowed to be independent. Even when we are in public places there is always a voice from behind which tells to “sit properly, don’t laugh loud, behave properly”. All this shit is just for the girls. WHY??

Whys should boys have all the fun why they need to prove the girl that he is well educated well mannered or virgin??

Why girls have to prove their virginity to everyone?

Having an orthodox parent is more difficult than a man in the prison. Why all the things are for the girls why God even to felt that a single girl can deal with all the pains and responsibility.

If laughter is for everyone than why can’t a girl laugh or drink with the people. If girls have to start their life with the boy, then why can’t they sit, laugh, drink and smoke with the boy? Why it is prohibited before marriage?

These questions should be raised. Everybody has the right to live life as they desire irrespective of their gender.

Some Prints of ChildHood

Everyone has the beautiful memories of childhood which brings smile  at every ones face, while scrolling on to the pictures or small talks when the guest arrives. Some memories were just to stay home without going to school or bunk with the tuition mates for long drive at the back of the best friend.
After all the fun there was always a connection and a trust within the friendship. We are ready to do any act either favorable or not. But that trust and faith lies only when we are small kid as we grow up there were lots of mind we connect with some are in good terms, some for the selfish reasons and some gives us the lesson for the life time which makes us strong from the bottom of out heart. Through this break down a child always start acting as if he mature enough to stay strong in every situation.

So, breakup's are the part of life which always gives us the lesson to deal with...

PRIORITY

Today I came home to feel the air of my childhood, to feel the love of parents, which I used to get over phone calls or video calls only from the past 3 years. The time I was packing my bags to go home after all the hectic days and ups and downs of my life, I actually had forgotten my first priority, i.e., my parents.
 
The time I was a kid, the life of my parents revolved around taking care of my things (kashu kuch khaya tune, night time if you feel hungry open the fridge and enjoy the meal)

I thought when i'll reach home i'll again enjoy the same time I had earlier.
when I reach home I was surprised that they are getting old now but still try to be happy so, that i'll feel okay and feel like everything is same. the real side is still missing that they are dependent on other for everything they don't have burden of office or any kid the life for them was really changed the eyes are covered with spectacles, life for them is just inside the four wall of house. There was no one for them to ask do they need anything. Are they all okay?

We kids are so selfish that we even forgotten our parents in our day to day offices or friends.
I tried to be with them the whole time i am at home but still i can't bring those 3 years which they want me to be with them. The time when my dad was not able to see , take him to the doctor, may be I hadn't received the call. After that with the excuse sorry papa i was in the meeting.

How time flies with the blink of an eye only the regret left after that.